The Momma in the Middle

Over the past few years, the entire focus of my life has been my children and my paid and volunteer work. For myself, I visit Sonic to get cherry cokes, read a few books a week, get my haircut twice a year, and take myself on a solo date to the movies every so often. I've had a two or three nights out with girlfriends in the past couple years and attended a few events with my kids. Well, and going back to school was something for me, but that's been on hiatus pending resolutions to life and health issues and likely won't resume for another year or two. Apparently, that means I need to get a life. Or add something meaningful to my life that's "just for me." I've gotten that advice from therapists, women's groups I belong to, friends and my pastor. And I know it's valid advice. I just don't know how to enact it. So for this post, I'm going to try to hearken back to my days as an airline employee, where the advice is given during eve...

One of my very favorite things about summer is sleeping in. And I game the system...I let the kids stay up later, knowing they need more sleep than me. That means I can still sleep late AND still wake up before the kids do. That's when I get my morning peace. It's not peace because I am managing to get kiddo free time. I've recently been urged to seek more of that...to plan better for my self care and personal needs outside of the kids. And that's criticism well taken. I get it. I have made the kiddos the center of my world, and myself the center of theirs. So I work, I volunteer, and I mom. The advice I received, from fellow moms and my new pastor, focuses on also addressing me. And I will. In due time. No, my morning peace is because I'm marveling on the kids even as I awaken before them and enjoy a bit of quiet before they roll into action for the day. They've invaded my bed again. To my left are my daughter and my female dog, cuddled. On my right, my so...

Words matter. A lot. As a professional writer with decades of experience producing tens of thousands of words every month for clients, and having published thousands of blog posts and a handful of books, I spend tremendous amounts of time considering words and word choice. And that's why I've decided that I am officially retiring the term "single mom." It's not an accurate description, it's often said with disdain or in derision, it feels degrading, and it just needs to go. Actually, I'm not just retiring the term. I'm murdering that bee-otch. Let's discuss why by breaking it down. In the two-word phrase, the second word is just fine. By virtue of having kids, I am a mom. First, I was a fur-mom to my dogs and cats. Then a God-mom to my beautiful God-daughters. And finally a mom to my wonderful son and daughter and an extra mom to a zillion of their friends who regularly invade my house. Now let's examine the first word, which i...