The Momma in the Middle

For almost all of the past 10 years, I have lamented on New Year's Eve that the year hadn't been so awesome and that the following year was bound to be better. What I should have been doing was celebrating the various tough times we survived through then between major illnesses, surgeries, deaths, now divorces...and yet we - and here I can only speak for the kids and I - keep trucking along. Enough of that noise. There will always be tough times. Heck, I ended up in an aircas t and on crutches today after injuring my foot and ankle a couple nights ago and finally going to the hospital mid-ice storm today after my foot swelled and I lost feeling to my toes, which, it turns out, will not currently bend. But whatever! I'm done with that nonsense defining me and settling for merely surviving. So I'm here to say that 2018 is going to be AWESOME. Completely and totally awesome. For all of us! And I can't wait to work my way to what I know will be great things in s...

I tend to watch a lot of movies over the holidays. Reruns or cheesy movies are on TV, there's extra downtime to fill, and for the past two seasons, the kids are away for blocks of time with their father. So...Netflix, Amazon Prime Video and Redbox keep me fully stocked on movies. A recent selection was the 2016 film Why Him?  I give this movie 3.5 stars, and here's why: First, a half star is deducted for constant "normalized" use of cuss words. Don't get me wrong; I can cuss a blue streak if I'm of a mind to do so. But in this movie, one of the main characters couldn't seem to get through even one moment without another curse flying out of his mouth. We get it: he's a bad boy and the use of language further demonstrates that. In this production, however, it was over the top and became unpleasant to listen to after the first 300 or so f-bombs. The same effect could have been accomplished in this film with a few thousand less instances of gratuitous ...

I normally go all-out at Christmas, in terms of decorating, celebrating, and gift giving. This year, not so much. Several weeks of my life between Thanksgiving and Christmas got sucked up in a miasma of sickness, and it's changed my whole approach to the holiday season this year. See, I got pneumonia the week of Thanksgiving and was admitted to the hospital the following week for what would become a 10-day stay, followed by a week of bed rest at home. That's the time I normally would have spent decking my halls to the nines - my Christmas decorations, when packed away, fill a walk-in closet, floor to ceiling. I dress up the whole front yard. The tree gets decked and then some. And every room in the house gets other decorations as well. It didn't happen this year. We were lucky to get the tree up about a week ago. A few other treasured decorations made it out several days after that. As late as yesterday and today, the kids were bringing a few other things out to use...

Stuff, stuff, stuff and more stuff. My house is jam packed full of stuff. How 'bout yours? Right now, I'm in a season of purging and cleaning. We have waaaaaay too much stuff. So far, we've rounded up a half dozen bags of purged clothes - things I no longer need or fit into, and things the kids have outgrown. The kids have also packed up a bunch of their toys that are now too  young for them. Last year, around this time, I began following KonMari as a way to skinny down my ownership of stuff. Have you tried her method? Marie Kondo has you go through your home in phases and recommends keeping only those things that bring you joy. And, as I noted a few posts ago, I'm at a point in my life where I'm consciously choosing joy . How do you go about purging in your own home? Do you hold on to as much stuff as you can? I did that for many years. The more I owned, the more secure I felt. And then came the realization that it was just stuff. My life isn't stuf...

I'm famous - or is it infamous? - for my love affair with Sonic. I even had publicity photos for my business taken while holding a Sonic cup. Obsessed much? LOL! I go to Sonic every day. Sometimes multiple times each day. I'm on a first-name share-real-life-stories basis with all of the managers at my Sonic, as well as many of the carhops. In fact, when someone new gets hired, they introduce me to them. Isn't that a hoot? My order each trip is simple: cherry coke, no ice. Yum! Contrary to popular belief, however, I don't spend a ton of money at Sonic - I get lots of coupons and free Route 44's for doing surveys - so I only spend $10 or less at Sonic each week. I rarely get food, as I eat most meals at home, but I can definitely say that when I do get food, it's always delicious. Contrary to another popular belief, I don't just go to Sonic because I love their cherry cokes. I do, mind you. Love their cherry cokes, that is. There's something ...

Something that could be seen as very bad happened yesterday. I'm not ready to share about it publicly, but what I can tell you is that I wept for about two hours afterwards before pulling myself together. And I don't cry all that easily. But then...my fabulous friend and housemate Yolanda, and my awesome neighbor Theresa, gave me some wonderful words of wisdom and I was able to re-find my calm and get to a better mental place. Doing so allowed me to see the "very bad happening" as a terrific opportunity instead of a horrific loss. And, as always, I prayed my butt off and really felt peace from the Lord blanketing me as well. How often, in life, do we get caught up in "poor me" situations where we get stuck focusing just on things that go wrong and miss out on the opportunity to take a different path or enter a different door? It's so easy to feel down on life. And once we do it for awhile, that "down-ness" is something we get stuck in. And ...

How many of you are stresser-outers? Show of hands! Be honest now! Yep, that's me. Almost to an OCD level. I obsess over what I stress about. I get fixated. It becomes the only thing in the world to me. All the rest of life fades to the background. All of my attention goes to surviving whatever the stress is, beating the situation if possible, and imagining 1,234,463 possible outcomes. I'm working to get better about stress. In fact, just this afternoon, an awesome lady gave me to stress-beating techniques to use today and over the next few days as an issue gets worked on in my life. The first was a reintroduction to a stress ball. Simple little bugger - but I forgot how awesome it was to squish the squishies right out of that ball repeatedly. It really works! I'm sure you have a stress ball tossed away in the back drawer or closet somewhere in your house. Go find it and squish with me! The other was a breathing technique. Put your left hand on your stomach. Put...

Are you a people pleaser? If so, you're not alone. I am, too, and there's a ton of us out there. And it turns out, this addiction to gaining the approval of others is pretty darn destructive to our lives. I've long been a fan of Joyce Meyer - I regularly watch her video clips and feel encouraged by her messages. This is my first time reading one of her books, however. My dear friend Yolanda brought this title to me when I was in the hospital last week and I've been making my way through it, slowly but surely, ever since. Why slowly but surely, you ask? Normally, I'm a fast reader. However, this book contains tons of scriptural references and so much great information that I'm taking it slowly. I've got my Bible nearby so I can check each reference, I've got a book of prayers that I use to find similar topics, and I'm re-reading each chapter as I go so I can really soak in this goodness. Here's why I am loving this book so much - the des...

If you know me, you know I geek out on anything that can be measured - preferably quantitatively, but I'll also accept qualitatively in a pinch. I love working in Excel. Graphs are my be-all-and-end-all. Need a formula for that? Hold a sec; got one right here. So I've been tracking the launch of this new blog pretty closely, because STATS, ya'll. So...without any further adieu, may I present the facts and figures from the first 24 hours of The Momma in the Middle. (Also, I promise not to make this a daily habit - I'm just geeked out on this because it's day 1 of a new site.) First up, pageviews by country and by platform.  I see no real surprises here - I know who is in Iraq (hi, Jerry), and Canada (hi, Julia), and Italy (hi, Jessie), and Singapore (hi, Kresta), and South Africa (hi, Meg)...although the Peru hit has me stumped. Maybe an AAer who is traveling? Next up, we have pageviews by day (24 hours split over 2 days), which is a healthy total for a...

When my former husband and I first separated, I went into a blue funk every time the kids were gone to stay with him instead of me. I'd stay in my pajamas, chain-smoking, reading dreary novels, and crying my eyes out. Blech! Thank GOD I'm no longer that person. I absolutely needed that time to mourn then heal - but Lord knows you can't stay that way forever. Now, I look at the time that the kids are with their father as opportunities to get all of my non-kiddo related things done - chores, errands, Tom Cruise movie marathons , extra client work, projects, school or church work, and Tom Cruise movie marathons . (Did I mention Tom Cruise movie marathons ? Just want to be sure I didn't forget that.) Do I still miss them? Of course. Right now I'm sitting in a house that's waaaaaaay too quiet. The kids have been gone for 25 minutes and will be with their dad through Saturday (with a brief stay back with me because of his work schedule). I'll miss them t...

I realized tonight that I was happy. Not just content to have arrived successfully at the end of the day. Not just relieved that most of what needed to get done mostly did. Not just thankful that more bits and pieces of nonsense didn't get kicked up. Actually. Happy. How did I come to this moment of happiness, you ask? While scooping cat poop. Stop it. I'm being serious. I had a zen moment while cleaning out the many litterboxes used by my feline overlords. Remember: Actually. Happy. Just...while holding cat poop. See, I'd come home from this month's city council meeting, picked the kiddos up from the wonderful neighbor who was watching them, and bundled them all off to bed, lickity split. Silence in the house by 8:45 - that's enough to warrant its own zen moment right there. Next up was bundling myself off to bed - I'm fresh off a 10-day hospital stay for pneumonia and need all the rest I can get. But... But... The litterboxes need...