Skip to main content

What I'm Reading, Nonfiction:
Joyce Meyer's "Approval Addiction"

Are you a people pleaser? If so, you're not alone. I am, too, and there's a ton of us out there. And it turns out, this addiction to gaining the approval of others is pretty darn destructive to our lives.

I've long been a fan of Joyce Meyer - I regularly watch her video clips and feel encouraged by her messages. This is my first time reading one of her books, however. My dear friend Yolanda brought this title to me when I was in the hospital last week and I've been making my way through it, slowly but surely, ever since.


Why slowly but surely, you ask? Normally, I'm a fast reader. However, this book contains tons of scriptural references and so much great information that I'm taking it slowly. I've got my Bible nearby so I can check each reference, I've got a book of prayers that I use to find similar topics, and I'm re-reading each chapter as I go so I can really soak in this goodness.

Here's why I am loving this book so much - the description from the back cover:

An addiction is something that controls people - something they feel they cannot do without or something they do to alleviate pain or pressure. It comes in many varieties, such as drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex, shopping, eating work - and yes, even approval. Like any addict, insecure people look for a 'fix' when they get shaky. They need someone to reaffirm them and assure them that everything is all right.
The good news is that they, and you, don't have to suffer with insecurity; there is a cure for the approval addiction. The Word of God says we can be secure through Jesus Christ (see Ephesians 3:17). That means we are free to be ourselves and become all we can be in Him.
Beyond being a people pleaser, I'm also an appeaser. I want everyone to be happy all the time, and when I see a problem - or am the cause of a problem - I seek to fix that so that everyone will be happy and no one will be mad at me. And when I fail to do so, I withdraw into myself and basically hide out.

But I'm working hard to go beyond that. I know - I KNOW - that I can't keep everyone happy all the time and that that isn't even my job to do in the first place.

In this book, I feel like Joyce Meyer is talking directly to me. From the introduction:
Do you live under a burden of guilt and condemnation, feeling unrighteous, unworthy, and insecure? Are you a people-pleaser, always looking for the approval of others?
Yes, yes, and even yesser. This continually manifests itself in my life under the guise of anxiety. And it can be downright crippling! Here's what Joyce Meyer says to those of us who answered yes to that question above:
If the answer is yes, then I hope by the grace and the mercy of God to help you get over those feelings because they affect not only your personal relationships, but also your prayer life and your ability to be promoted in life. They certainly steal your joy and your peace - and that is not God's will for you or anyone else. God's will is that you enjoy your life - and you can do that.
The book then divides into 3 parts: part 1 focuses on "understanding we aren't perfect and that is okay;" part 2 goes on to cover "specific additions that hinder our walk with God;" and part 3 focuses on "our wholeness in God."

I'm still only in part 1 of the book, but since I'm loving it so much - and since I like to keep it real with what's going on in my own life - I wanted to share my experience with you here. I'll bet there's at least a few of you out there who could also benefit from reading "Approval Addiction."

How does people-pleasing behaviors affect you in your life? I'd love to hear your own experiences while we are in the middle of acknowledging and working to heal from this destructive behavior.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

In the Middle of...Child Cell Phone Safety

I recently bought both of my littles a cell phone. Yes, they're still a bit on the young side for that, but after thinking about it for a long time - like, really, a year - I decided it was the best course of action. Having a cell phone doesn't mean the kids now have free reign over the internet, apps and all of the craziness that goes along with it. *This Momma* has gone all NSA on the little ones, loading up their devices with parental monitoring software so that I have oversight of their usage and control over how the devices are used. I'd like to share the apps I've installed so far - and then see what your favorites are to use for your kiddos' devices. First up was Family Link . Family Link is an actual Google product and designed specifically so that families can safely allow children to use cell phones and other devices. And so far, I'm just loving it! I set up a profile for each kiddo and the parameters around their usage that I want to e...
Post a Comment
Read more

Still in the Middle

When my former husband and I first separated, I went into a blue funk every time the kids were gone to stay with him instead of me. I'd stay in my pajamas, chain-smoking, reading dreary novels, and crying my eyes out. Blech! Thank GOD I'm no longer that person. I absolutely needed that time to mourn then heal - but Lord knows you can't stay that way forever. Now, I look at the time that the kids are with their father as opportunities to get all of my non-kiddo related things done - chores, errands, Tom Cruise movie marathons , extra client work, projects, school or church work, and Tom Cruise movie marathons . (Did I mention Tom Cruise movie marathons ? Just want to be sure I didn't forget that.) Do I still miss them? Of course. Right now I'm sitting in a house that's waaaaaaay too quiet. The kids have been gone for 25 minutes and will be with their dad through Saturday (with a brief stay back with me because of his work schedule). I'll miss them t...
Post a Comment
Read more

On Having a Minimalist Christmas

I normally go all-out at Christmas, in terms of decorating, celebrating, and gift giving. This year, not so much. Several weeks of my life between Thanksgiving and Christmas got sucked up in a miasma of sickness, and it's changed my whole approach to the holiday season this year. See, I got pneumonia the week of Thanksgiving and was admitted to the hospital the following week for what would become a 10-day stay, followed by a week of bed rest at home. That's the time I normally would have spent decking my halls to the nines - my Christmas decorations, when packed away, fill a walk-in closet, floor to ceiling. I dress up the whole front yard. The tree gets decked and then some. And every room in the house gets other decorations as well. It didn't happen this year. We were lucky to get the tree up about a week ago. A few other treasured decorations made it out several days after that. As late as yesterday and today, the kids were bringing a few other things out to use...
Post a Comment
Read more